13 Best Short Funny Quotes
2007-02-28 05:45 PM | Posted by Tejvan Pettinger | Permanent Link | thursday thirteen
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- "Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning."
- Anonymous.
- "At my age I do what Mark Twain did. I get my daily paper, look at the obituaries page and if I’m not there I carry on as usual."
- Patrick Moore, English astronomer
- "Gentlemen, you can't fight in here...This is the War Room!"
- (Dr. Strangelove, 1964) Peter Sellers Quotes
- "Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invaribly they are both disappointed."
- Albert Einstein
- “When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realized that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me.”
- “ My Dad used to say 'always fight fire with fire', which is probably why he got thrown out of the fire brigade. “
- Peter Kay
- "I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.”
- Peter Kay
- "I've often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming."
- Peter Kay
- Eddy:" In Zen terms we are all just molecules. Theres’ no difference between me and the table, me and a tree, me and Madonna."
Saffy "Except you have a fatter bottom."
- Absolutely Fabulous
- “If you were to ask me to name three geniuses, I probably wouldn’t say Einstein, Newton... I’d go Milligan, Cleese, Everett. Sessions.”
- David Brent (Series 1 Episode 2)
- "I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 quid that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. And he said, 'no, the steaks are too high.'"
- "As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two... "
- Sir Norman Wisdom
13."But I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase. I can hardly contain myself."
