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Brighter side of web - Quotes
The point of this post is to show how grammar can change the meaning of a sentence.
- A Woman without her man is nothing
- A Woman, without her man, is nothing.
- A woman: without her, man is nothing
Man says to God. "Why did you make Women so beautiful?"
God: "So you would love her"
Man says to God. "But why did you make women so dumb?"
God: "So they would love you."
When do you care for a man's company?
When he owns it...
How does a man show he is planning for the future?
He buys 2 crates of beer.
During my school years, one of the few authors I read, (apart from Tolkien) was George Orwell. At the time, I was fascinated with his books, "Homage to Catalonia", "The Road to Wigan Pier", and "Down and Out in Paris and London". A feature of Orwell's writings, was that he always seemed able to see both points of view. Thus, although he was a committed Socialist, he powerfully portrayed the failings of his own ideological supporters.
"If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear."
"Sometimes the first duty of intelligent men is the restatement of the obvious. "
Famous Epitaphs
· "My Jesus, mercy" Al Capone
· "The best is yet to come."
Frank Sinatra
· "This is the last of Earth! I am content!"
John Quincy Adams (1767 - 1848)
· "A tomb now suffices him for whom the world was not enough"
Alexander the Great
· "Well this was fun, let's do it again sometime."
Quniaron Bellthing (1930-2004)
· "Truth and History. 21 Men. The Boy Bandit King. He Died As He Lived. William H. Bonney 'Billy the Kid'"
Billy the Kid (unknown)
· "That's all, folks!"
Mel Blanc (the epitaph is the trademark line of cartoon character Porky Pig, whose voice was provided by Blanc for many years)
· "I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter."
Winston Churchill
· "She did it the hard way"
Bette Davis
· "Nothing's So Sacred As Honour And Nothing's So Loyal As Love"
Wyatt Earp
· "I had a lover's quarrel with the world"
Robert Frost
· "Cast a cold eye On life, on death. Horseman, pass by!"
W. B. Yeats
· "Hey Ram" (Translated "Oh, God")
Mahatma Gandhi
- " I love peace, and am anxious that we should give the world still another useful lesson, by showing to them other modes of punishing injuries than by war, which is as much a punishment to the punisher as to the sufferer.”
- " I do not believe war the most certain means of enforcing principles. Those peaceable coercions which are in the power of every nation, if undertaken in concert and in time of peace, are more likely to produce the desired effect."
- “When angry, count ten, before you speak; if very angry, a hundred.”
- “The God who gave us life, gave us liberty at the same time”
- “He who steadily observes the moral precepts in which all religions concur, will never be questioned at the gates of heaven as to the dogmas in which they all differ.”
Homer Simpson
Quotes of Homer
"It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in eight hours of TV a day. "
"But Marge, what if we chose the wrong religion? Each week we just make God madder and madder."
"To Start Press Any Key'. Where's the ANY key?"
" I think Smithers picked me because of my motivational skills. Everyone says they have to work a lot harder when I’m around. "
- See more: Quotes of Homer Simpson
"To Laugh often and much, to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. THIS IS TO HAVE SUCCEEDED."
—- Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-82)
via Inspiration blog
Muhammad Ali
Today the boxing legend Muhammed Ali today turned 65. Ali once said of old age: "Old age is just a record of one's whole life," I have tremendous respect for Muhammed Ali. He has also seemed to cope with his progressive illness of Parkinson's with his trademark good humour.
"I always liked to chase the girls. Parkinson's stops all that. Now I might have a chance to go to heaven. "
--Muhammad Ali calling his Parkinson's Disease a blessing
Muhammad Ali is a remarkable character who at times generated much controversy, in particular for sticking to his beliefs. His early quotes from his boxing days seem very apt for a boxer. It is as if he wanted to take the fight outside the ring.
I am no fan of boxing but I am a great fan of Muhammad Ali. Long live the greatest!
"Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee."
"I'm not the greatest; I'm the double greatest. Not only do I knock 'em out, I pick the round."
"It will be a killer, and a chiller, and a thriller, when I get the gorilla in Manila"
Its Thursday thirteen. This week I wanted to select 13 quotes on love. Most of these quotes were gained from Poetseers and the section "Poems on Love". Before starting to work on Poetseers a couple of years ago, I didn't used to read poetry at all. So I enjoyed discovering many of the great poets and poems. These are 13 but there are many other candidates.
1. If music be the food of love - William Shakespeare
"If music be the food of love, play on;
Give me excess of it, that, surfeiting,
The appetite may sicken, and so die.
2. Love is not a thing to understand - Sri Chinmoy
"Love is not a thing to understand.
Love is not a thing to feel.
Love is not a thing to give and receive.
Love is a thing only to become
And eternally be. "
Corinthians 13
"If I speak in the tongues of men and angels,
but have not love,
I have become sounding brass or a tinkling symbol.
And if I have prophecy and know all mysteries and all knowledge,
and if I have all faith so as to remove mountains,
but have not love, I am nothing. "
"Death is not the end. Death can never be the end."
"Death is the road. Life is the traveller. The soul is the guide."
"When the traveller is tired and exhausted, the guide instructs the traveller to take either a short or a long rest, and then again the traveller's journey begins."
Peter Sellers
I have written a short biography of Peter Sellers here: Biography Peter Sellers
I have also added some quotes of Peter Sellers . These include quotes from Dr Strangelove and the Pink Panther films
Clouseau: And who are yeu ?
Jarvis: I'm Jarvis, the butler.
Clouseau: And what is it yeu deu..?
Monsieur..Don't try to be funnayyyy with me
To see video clips of Peter Sellers click on the Peter Sellers link at top of this blog.
Other British Comedians
See also Interview with Peter Sellers and Michael Parkinson
Recently I posted some good grammar tips here: Eats Shoots and Leaves
I came across some more useful english tips, which will definitely improve your English, although not necessarily your spelting.
English Tips
- Never use a long word when a diminutive one will do.
- Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
- One-word sentences? Eliminate.
- If you reread your work, you can find on rereading a great deal of repetition can be avoided by rereading and editing.
- Take the bull by the hand and avoid mixing metaphors.
More top English Tips
Boris Johnson
There are not many MPs as likeable and individualistic as Boris Johnson. His performances on "Have I got News for You" are classics. There are several websites devoted to Boris Johnson. Including the Boris Johnson fanclub
"I do solemnly declare that henceforth and without further procastinations or delay, I will no longer self indulgently and with a due sense of punctiliousness to the aforementioned resolutions, no longer put off doing, what really I could have done 5 minutes ago. Furthermore I will stop showing off by using unnecessary and supefluous words just to show my vocabulary."
- I thought "That's a turtle disaster".
- Four fonts walk into a bar The barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"
- A jump-lead walks into a bar. The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
- A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar. The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
- A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"
- Shakespeare walks into a bar. Sorry you've got to leave your "Bard" - Bard! get it?
- Dyslexic man walks into a bra A seal walks into a club...
- A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says: "Pint please, and one for the road."
- A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and announces: "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
- A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
Cast from Blackadder the Forth
Quotes - Blackadder the Forth
George: 'I'm absolutely top-hole, sir, with an ying and yang and yippiedeedoo.'
George: 'Well tally ho! With a bing and a bong and a buzz buzz buzz!'
George: 'I'm thick. I'm as thick as the big print version of the Complete Works of Charles Dickens.'
George: 'My head... oh, my head... feels like the time I was initiated into the Silly Buggers Society at Cambridge. I misheard the rules and tried to push a whole aubergine up my earhole.'
(from: Corporal Punishment - when George fails to get Captain Blackadder off the hook
“Is one bovered”. Catherine Tate is said to have said this to Queen at a Royal Variety Performance. In the Royal box one of the queens attendents was sleeping. She siad
” she is bing, but the old fella next to her is asleep!" –
When the Life of Brian was brought out ın 1979 it apparantely caused alot of controversy because of its subject material. I'm not sure why because it is just a good satire on human behaviour. But nevertheless it upset many people because of its theme. There was even one town councıl ın Surrey whıch went to the trouble of banning the film even though the town didn't have a cinema. Any way I guess its the thought that counts.
New: "Romans Go Home" - Quotes from scene "Romanes Eunt Domus"
These are some of the funniest Quotes from Life of Brian.
[The audience has trouble hearing Jesus' sermon on the mount.] Guy: I think it was, "Blessed are the cheesemakers." Other Guy: Ahh, what's so special about cheesemakers? Guy: Well, obviously this is not meant to be taken literally. It refers to any manufacturers of dairy products.
Somebody is getting well paid for making subtitles for English films viewed in Hong Kong and China. Either there having a laugh or there english not good so.
- I am damn unsatisfied to be killed in this way.
("I don't mind when I die - so long as I'm not there when it happens"- Spike Milligan)
- Fatty, you with your thick face have hurt my instep.
(must be some double chin)
- Gun wounds again?
- A normal person wouldn't steal pituitaries.
(I wonder whether you can insure them?)
- Damn, I'll burn you into a BBQ chicken!
- Who gave you the nerve to get killed here?
(people these days can't even die without being impudent)
- Quiet or I'll blow your throat up.
- You always use violence. I should've ordered glutinous rice chicken.
(depending on the Chinese restaurant Chicken chow mein could be a type of violence)
I've recently posted on Peter Kay. Including some videos. I hope my reader(s) won't mind if I post some more catchphrases.
Peter Kay Catchphrases
- "Garlic bread, it's the future, I've tasted it" (phoenix nights)
- 'T'internet', 'Th'ambulance' and 'T'Egypt' (referring to a holiday in Egypt).
- "Garlic...Bread?" (An impersonation of Kay's father who, on holiday in Spain, was bamboozled by garlic bread, wondering how the two ingredients could be combined)
- "It's spittin'!" (Dinner lady cry heralding a shower of rain before herding kids into school)
- "It's that fine rain that soaks you through", or "It's that fine rain that gets you wet" (At top of tower)
- "We're not playing games now" (Used in live shows after telling a sequence of one liners).
- "How dare you." (Max and Paddy's Road to Nowhere) (not to be confused with the "How very dare you?! from Catherine Tate)
- "Put t' big light on" (Mum Wants a Bungalow tour)
- "'Ave it!" (John Smith's Bitter advert)
- "I've not lost it" (After flicking the microphone in the air, and then catching it by the handle.)
Thought of the Day at Radio Sri Chinmoy
Sanjaya Spettigue is a friend from the Ipswich Sri Chinmoy Centre. He regularly offers a "Thought of the Day" for a local radio programme. You can listen to it here:
- Thought of the Day (m4a format)
In this short extract amongst other things he discusses the role concentration can play in helping sports players to do better.
"I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury."
-Groucho Marx
“My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God, and I didn't.”
-Unknown
I have started a new blog, a collection of my favourite quotes. These quotes by Gandhi were selected from an article by Sri Chinmoy on Mahatma Gandhi available here:
Sri Chinmoy says of Mahatma Gandhi:
"Some of the world figures have called him the Saint Paul, Saint Thomas and Saint Francis of Assisi of the modern era. I call him the Pacific Ocean of Heart's Love and Soul's Compassion. Perhaps I am wrong. Perhaps I am right. But I am adamant in my assertion that Mahatma Gandhi is not the exclusive treasure of India, but a peerless pride of mankind; and he will remain so down the sweep of centuries."
These are a very small collection of quotes by Gandhi more will come over time
