Funny Wedding Quotes
collection of funny wedding quotes including Mark Twain
Both marriage and death ought to be welcome: The one promises happiness, doubtless the other assures it.
- Letter to Will Bowen, 11/4/1888
What a world of trouble those who never marry escape! There are many happy matches, it is true, and sometimes "my dear," and "my love" come from the heart; but what sensible bachelor, rejoicing in his freedom and years of discretion, will run the tremendous risk?
Separately, foreign marriages and whisky are bad; mixed, they are fatal.
- Letter to Olivia, 6/3/1895
If husbands could realize what large returns of profit may be gotten out of a wife by a small word of praise paid over the counter when the market is just right, they would bring matters around the way they wish them much oftener than they usually do. Arguments are unsafe with wives, because they examine them; but they do not examine compliments. One can pass upon a wife a compliment that is three-fourths base metal; she will not even bite it to see if it is good; all she notices is the size of it, not the quality.
- "Hellfire Hotchkiss," reprinted in Satires and Burlesques
Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
Henry Youngman.
I love being married. It's so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
I fell in love at first sight… I should have looked twice.
